23 Comments
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B. D. Bradley's avatar

Oh man, I'm a sucker for diplomatic formality! Can't wait to read more.

Kostia Dmytriiev's avatar

It is really great piece, it sets a stage perfectly for something. It also clearly defines roles of people in the manor, and I have a feeling someone will be overstepping and get their nose in something dirty. Great read.

Semal's avatar

What a mystery , excellent plot

Wajad R. Basha's avatar

I enjoying reading this chapter! You build anticipation and danger from the beginning which make readers want to keep reading to know what is going to happen. Really good work.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Thank you for reading and for your kind words! I would love to know how those thoughts evolve if/when you continue reading :)

Loïne's avatar

Thank you for sharing your work with me earlier! I really like your writing style and this story feels very intriguing. The tension is very immersive and the imagery is beautiful. I could really visualize the rooms, the lighting and atmosphere. I’m eager to keep reading.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback :)

Maria Grace's avatar

The atmosphere in this chapter is incredible. Every detail feels carefully placed, like the emotional tension is quietly embedded into the architecture of the house itself. The villa doesn’t just function as a setting....it feels almost participatory, as though the routines, objects, and rooms have absorbed years of unspoken history between these characters. Even the smallest observations carry emotional weight, which makes the entire chapter feel hushed, deliberate, and deeply lived-in. Relly love your writing style! Thank you for sharing! I subbed so I can read more of your work!

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

As i said elsewhere, thank you so much! This is the exact feeling I was going for—back-of-house as organism, existing relationships w/ a history we were just sort of dropped into.

Hai Dang's avatar

I found the emphasize on "said what they meant and meant what they said; understood that some things were not her business and also that some things were absolutely her business. The trick was knowing which was which." anchoring the my reading experience. Love them, they add so much to the tone of the narration and the story.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Thank you for that feedback! When I find myself using patterns like that, I’m always a little wary they might take away from the reading experience. I’m glad it enhanced yours :)

D G O’Toole's avatar

“Waning daylight painted the scene in gold.”

I love this line. This kind of writing gives me goosebumps.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Thank you! (Belated)

David T Etheredge's avatar

I must say, your writing style is nearly Brustian, an adjective I properly apply as the highest of praise to the works of a select few.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Thank you! I haven't read any Brust, but his work sounds fun. Do you have any suggestions for where to start?

David T Etheredge's avatar

Absolutely! The Phoenix Guard, which as it happens, is my favorite novel of all time.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Apparently my library doesn't carry the e-book of The Phoenix Guards, but I did read the sample. Saw the subtitled chapter headings and was like — ah, yes, there it is! Makes sense that Brut modeled that series off Dumas. I was trying to evoke that era of writing, especially in my more omniscient/Greek chorus chapters. I'm glad it came through!

I did check out Jhereg, the ebook of which my library does offer. This book has a distinctly different feel to it than The Phoenix Guards, which is so fun. This Brut fellow sounds like a hoot to be around, BTW.

Thanks for the recommendation!

David T Etheredge's avatar

Everything Brust writes is gold.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Everything I write is not. (See: misspelling Brust's name ×2)

Finished Jhereg (good fun) and onto Yendi. He does great worldbuilding.

Stephen B. Anthony's avatar

Wow. First, the capture of nostalgia here is perfectly done. I was there. Second, I'm hooked on the intrigue.

Really well written.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Thank you — your feedback means a lot 😊

Catalina Angel's avatar

I really liked this and I’m intrigued. The mystery around the anniversary is so well built, and the slow buildup of tension feels really immersive.

Gilded Pleasures's avatar

Thank you for the feedback! Much appreciated :)